35 RTIN - Torn

I am super sleepy as I type this post whilst finishing work for my boss regarding socioeconomical climate in Myanmar/Thailand/Indonesia/Vietnam ): I'm very addicted to listening to Torn, by Cassadee Pope recently! It's really good, and I didn't know that Cassadee was the lead singer for Hey Monday (yeap you know the song Candles?) and she's really really pretty :D 

Omg I can't help but to justify the alignment because the PW habit or else Covie will OCD >_>

I guess Torn is really what I feel recently. (If you're following me on Instagram and Twitter you could have probably guessed) It's really been a lot of bad stuff smacking me right in my face, and I seem to be finding distractions for myself - I'm like somewhat involved in organizing 3 events.. and more. I'm killing myself omg, and yes I know it. But it helps me take my mind off stuff I guess. Sometimes my mind just unconsciously lingers back to the happy times with him, /stumbled onto a very happy facebook note/ and now he is with another girl :) I guess I feel happy for him! I mean why not, I knew I couldn't commit my time and it wouldn't be fair for him too. Sad thing is just that we can never be friends anymore, and yes I do miss my brother-like figure. On a very random bonus ahah my recent meltdown made my brother to care more for me heeheheehee. He calls me like once every 3 days ^ ~ ^ I'm very very loved haha. 

I'm trying to kick the negativity away from me and stay happy. I know only I can conquer this battle, but I do need shields >< I'm incredibly grateful for the tons of people who have been by my side, and I really look forward to just moving on. Based on experience, it's going to take really very very long. But I can't wait for me to be me again. I really need myself back. Oh haha and today I cut my own bangs. I think it still looks okay. I hope it stays that way when I wake up tomorrow hahahha :)

Yes deep down I know I really miss my best friend. But I'm just another stranger to him right now. Sad isn't it, how times just past.

At least she doesn't need the ex-gf to stand in between the relationship now :)