68 My Faith, My God

<Disclaimer: Religious content ahead. This article is representative only of the voices in my head.>

It has been a long while since I've blogged. Tons of things that are overdue. And a lot of requests to keep updating my life so that people know what's going on - it's true I've been on a social media hiatus for just too long. Blogging requires TONS of discipline. Just bolding and underlining that to give all the credit to bloggers out there who find the drive to update their blog/insta then shamelessly promote on twitter - I still don't get how people somehow just do that. Even when I churp churp I find myself annoying hahahahahaha.


General update:

Life's pretty fine at my side? Finished my first 8 papers of my professional degree (search: ICAEW if you're interested - one of the best courses ever for accountancy), and if all things go well I will be completing studies and stepping into workforce (and studying part time) next April? WHICH IS QUITE FAST. Some days I do think that this practicality is worth it that I'm compromising on my vibrant university life - and I do conclude that you should enjoy university before you step into the workforce. At one point in time, everyone gets so ambitious to earn your bucket of money it's quite terrifying? Would rather enjoy the moments and silly laughter - be it during random Ice Lemon Tea sessions or Class Breaks - which I honestly miss a lot.


Just wanted to blog something that has been in my heart for quite some time today. Today's post will be on Christianity. It's a big taboo in my family but I guess it helps if I share? A lot of people ask me:


"Why did you decide to be Christian?"
"Why Christianity?"

Half of the time I just want to reply like..

"Erm, I don't know? Hinduism/Buddhism/Islam doesn't appeal to me??"

I don't mean it in a bad way though - every religion has its own way of life, and it's good that people can bank their hopes somewhere. This is the whole thing about FAITH. Which I would elaborate a bit more later.

My story with Christianity started a long way ago when I was back in Singapore, more accurately when my mentor started this thing called 40 days of Faith. For us it was more like a supper gathering (food appeals, y'all!) and we would share life and then pray - Clarification: I always believed in a God, just that I never put a name on God?
I loved these sessions (FYI, this is called Cell Group or anything, varies from church to church?) I generally love the idea of fellowship itself, I feel that it is so important to focus on the intangibles in (our fast paced) life that we just need to sit down and talk. In a way, these people were my support group - I've been told it's very.. TFIOS rehab group-sounding - but it is absolutely true that we are open about our worries, our troubles and we just seek comfort in each others' presence.

That being said, I did try going to church in Singapore - a few times. Just every session was not quite right - I can't take traditional churches I think (Even though confessions seem like useful sessions for me), or the pastor would say something that totally turns me off. Or the atmosphere is just, odd. It just doesn't feel right? But everytime when I'm upset I listen to songs like Still by Hillsong or one of my early favourites, What Faith Can Do - well they didn't write anything about God in these songs right?

And I would say, that's the amazing thing about God. He doesn't need to make his presence felt - He's omnipresent, and He's a gentle loving Father watching over you. He is there to catch you when you fall, and guide you along the way. Kind of like Footprints in the Sand (I'm sorry haha this is also a song with a Christian context). Check out the song if you haven't by the way, really meaningful lyrics (:

If you had known me in my earlier days, I would proclaim to you that I am atheist - that I do not believe in any religion because it was just something people need to anchor their faith in. Little did I know the young me was going to eat my own words later on in life hahahah. (Also another thing about God, He's really playful. He'll make sure you eat your words or experience something else than you desire most of the time .______. )

Yesterday when I was driving home and talking to my mother, this exact line came back into my mouth about religion. Just that I didn't tell my mother that it's precisely because I need someone to carry me through in this tough life, I chose to be Christian. Also because it's really large pressure/weight on me to be the sole child at home experiencing my parents - I'm really not used to being weighed down after having so much freedom in my teenage years.

And the irony is that, they are the reason that brought me to church ahhaha. I remember having such a bad time at home I just told E "BRING ME TO YOUR CHURCH" and he was like "ermmmmmmmmmm." The hesitation was because he wanted me to do bring me to church only when this amazing pastor (PASTOR JULIE <3 She's amazing. She actually looks like my mum - and I believe if my mother became a pastor, she'll be damn cool like Pastor Julie. WHY MUM?? Okay back to topic.) spoke. And that immediate night, he got the notification that Pastor Julie was speaking. So church it is! And the message that week hit me. (If I remember correctly, the message that week was about reigniting passion for God, the "theme song" was Consuming Fire)

That's the thing about GT (My church is called Glad Tidings Assembly of God) - the messages hit me like a truck. E says I'm blessed this way because when I need it, God will send me a message. Which was 3 weeks in a row - inclusive of Michelle telling me the more I don't want to be like my mother, the more I'll become like her >_> Because environment shapes people. But we can learn to be aware and remind ourselves not to repeat that. And the amazing thing about my GT friends is that they aren't overly-friendly/aggressive, which makes me really comfortable to walk this journey at my own pace - no rush, no forcing to church - it's all at your own will!

And why Christianity - because of Love.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:13 

Christianity is really big about forgiveness, and loving each other. About not passing judgment one another (and let God decide). About giving to others, giving to God's kingdom with that trust that He will provide us with more. The message that we desire to be more like God - is that God is unconditionally giving and loving others. And that we should strive to be as selfless as He is. (That's my take for now, at least.)

I decided to accept Christ completely in my life during College Retreat (Church camp basically, which I loved because CAMP!!) Side note, Joke was that I actually unknowingly accepted Christ sometimes because the Pastors then asked.. "Would anyone like me to pray for them? If yes, raise up your hand" but uhm, I probably didn't know what was happening then. So yeah, that step in July 2014? It was a very powerful turning point for me, because you know they say,

You will never be the same again

I'll just like to put it out there that being Christian is TOUGH. It requires a lot of discipline - the Bible isn't the easiest to finish (especially with so many books and verses, even divided into Old and New Testament!), you have to sacrifice sleep on Sunday mornings to go to church, and trust me on this, when they say,

God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers

It's true.  I've only been approximately been a Christian for a year, but this year has been one of the most challenging years I've had - in every aspect possible except for studies - and it's been a journey of exponential self-growth and self-actualization. I should be appreciative right? But it's really tough. Especially when you only see how the dots connect when you look back after walking through the path.

This brings me to the topic of Faith. (Lol I just typo-ed and it read Fatih ahahahhaha. And omg I am so easily amused.) Have you heard about the saying:

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the entire staircase 

- Martin Luther King 

In case you're wondering why there are so many quotes in this post, you just need to know that my current web browser doesn't allow me to insert any photos or videos zzz. So you just have to read. Reading is good for you yea??? Who am I kidding..

That being said, even though I'm Christian, I'm struggling a lot with surrendering myself completely to Him. I've been so used to fighting my own battles all these while, and suddenly I'm being told that if He wills, I will get it. Or that I should just do my best and let God do the rest. I'm still learning to put my faith in Him, everyday, each step of the way - to have the inner peace within that I know He'll be there if I fall. And take things easier in life.

Considering I see live rebuttals as I type all of these, (well my mum serves a very practical view against) I do agree that you can have a bit of skeptism that every religion has its good and bad - my mum especially thinks that not holding joss sticks is a sign of disrespect to Buddhism way of memorial - but in the end, it's your religion, your faith. It's not about your parents', not about your family. It's your intimate relationship with the God you chose, and the God that you choose to place your faith/trust in. Just as everyone desires different things, which God appeals to you follows.

Like how my sister said, Chinese New Year songs are all about money - so yeah you have the Wealth God hahahaha. For Christians, we have Jesus, where we sing praise and blessings as we are covered by His grace.


We love only because He first loved us.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. -Psalm 118:29

67 Yet not my will, but Yours be done

Haven't been blogging in ages.

For a moment, I was torn between revealing things on social media (you guys know I used to be very involved in Churpchurp and Nuffnang) and trying to maintain a good untraceable record since I'm going to start apply for work internships. So, I chose to start writing down my thoughts into journals. It's only till recently one of my loyal supporters (might also be the only few who reads this space haha) asked me if I blogged (albeit having to struggle and read through all my horrible grammar) and after some chitchat I guess here I am back. 

I like blogging. I like penning down my thoughts (since I really just have so many of them) but it's always been such a spur-in-the-moment kind of thing (there's really countless number of drafts in my blog dashboard) and you just have to get the right mood and feel to be penning down all the thoughts you know? Like debate with myself. I really wish I could be more reflective like some of my friends, how they can express themselves so eloquently about the things (a lot, of things) happening in life or just very very interesting in expressing themselves.

Life at my side has been pretty interesting I guess. Okay nope not really. For those who've not asked, I'm currently doing an accounting degree back in Malaysia. Initially, I've had my doubts bout coming back here to study but honestly, praise the Lord that I really enjoy my course. I've taken 2 papers so far, and finishing my foundation by this December this year before proceeding to take another year of papers and then internship/work, and I find that I'm still not very stressed and rather intrigued by what I'm studying (ie finding it much more meaningful/purposeful/realistic than A levels). Honestly think that it's one of the most practical accounting degrees around so if any of you juniors want to know more, you can just contact me via Facebook and Twitter :)

So the pros of coming home to study:

• Practical degree
  (ignoring the long terrible timetable ie 8-3pm Accounting, 3.15 - 5.30 Law schedules. Lecturers wise, some are good some are like, props. Then again, that's the same everywhere?)
  
  
  
  However, I would also like to point out that being in college might not change things for me - loads of rules and teachers threatening to call you parents but hey! You have friends who will make breakfast in the middle of class in front of your lecturer lololol.
  
  

  
  
  Another worthy mention was how this girl and I figured that a Thursday rainy morning class wasn't for us and went to have breakfast and heart to heart talks
• Getting to drive to school
  (ignoring having to wake up at 6/6.30am to beat the massive jam that can result in you wasting at least 30 minutes of your life, and trying to safe yourself from the havoc/half-awake drivers from the road)



• New friends new environment
  
  
  
  (It was national day in church, don't judge. We're a pretty good mix of multi racial ain't we hehehhe)
• Being around my parents and hence spending more time (by default...?)
  Would consider posting photos of them but naah it's too dangerous so yeap.
  
• Food
  
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  Road trips around the area in pursuit of good food is one of my favourite things to do, and as I am speaking I am thinking of a certain chocolate cake that I can't get anytime soon... There's just so many varieties and unexplored places to be unlocked but so little time!!

Now the cons of coming home to study:

• Food
  
  
  You see, I live in an area nearer to KL called Cheras, and since school is in Subang, most of my friends live around there. And thus people hang out there more, and whenever I have cravings, I have to trouble half the state just to get to it - I kid you not I used to drive there to have pan mee for lunch. In my defense, I think it's really good. The I-don't-like-runny-egg-yolk-but-I-add-it-into-my-pan-mee good.

  
  
  This is how it looks like FYI.
  
  Then again, only a handful of you will know that I don't like runny egg yolks. I also happen to only know what food is nice there, so now when you ask me for food recommendations I can bring you to two places near my house and another 10 places in the Subang area. Cause school and Eugene is there so yeah.
  
  
  
  Really really good fishhead noodles that's only RM10 and humongous (I think the bowl can cover half of my head) - it's so good it lures him to my area for me heheheh
  
  
  But food in KL > food in Singapore in general so you should all come to visit me.
  
  
  Throwback to that day we waited for pork noodles for one whole hour?! In its defense it's pretty good but still, one /whole/ hour...
  
  Another thing I've been whining a lot about is my Black Forest Island Creamery ice cream/ Chocolate Rum Awfully Chocolate cake/ 3 Inch Sin Baileys' lava cake/ Table Manners/ Chinatown fried chicken ramen/ Steph's parents cooking/ Jane Thai's Tomyum and Green Curry and the list goes on. I honestly really miss the alcoholic ice cream/cakes I can have - Udders has a spectacular range <disclaimer: I am not an alcoholic.> and my cravings all just has to be at least 330km away from me. Boohoohoo. And someone just told me he's bringing me for Chocolate Bailey's cake after his exam so wheeee! That is if he remembers, that is. 

In this photo, I shall preview two of my closest friends that I have right now.
The crazy women that keep me insane and happy so far :)

Them being them lololol. 

• New friends new environment
  
  Back here people think I'm really weird with the Singaporean lingo like "As" cause here they call it "Ale", bit like the Red Indian chant but yeah that's fine. They also don't use "Macs", they say "MacDs". I guess I'm lucky to have found myself some close friends in college (like maybe 4?) but this tiny bit of me feels a little out of place in school because outside of college, I probably only have one or two Malaysian friends from primary. But now the number probably grew to like 10 yay me!
  
  Truth to be told, I really really miss all my friends back in Singapore, especially having a class to be with. Don't get the wrong idea, I do have (some) friends here but having to start over anew and getting to know everyone when they probably have other closer friends can be really tiring. Sometimes I walk in college I feel flooded out by the faces I don't know, and I wonder if I've became a reclusive old woman who just doesn't want to socialize and talk to people. Kind of weird/sad don't you think? I used to be super noisy (am still, with people I know) and friendly to everyone, feels like I've lost a part of me back there, or rather it just refuses to move on. The people I've met have actually hit the extremes. I've met really "interesting" characters, and I've also met people that make me want to love them more. One group of people I've been really thankful to have met is from cell/Democracy? (it's a Whatsapp group name, don't ask) and those are probably the closest friends I have (other than the 2 crazy women who made me drive to Rawang to have fish with them) but when I look back at my Facebook profile (which I coincidentally was doing) or scrolling through photos, I can't help but to feel a pang of sadness to not be able to be there for those that I hold close to my heart? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for everyone to be able to get to where they are, pursuing the things they love/chose to love, but sometimes I question what would have happened if I chose to stay in Singapore to be with them. To be having university orientation (or actually have a university life because I've no co-curriculum now), to be living in halls, to be going crazy getting to know new people? Whenever my Whatsapp buzzes for a gathering, I can't be there even though I really want to be there, just feels like I've slowly faded into the background ifyougetwhatImean.
  
  Sometimes it's tiring to keep taking the initiative to talk to people, and I know because I've been there myself. "Will we really last?" is a question that often comes to my mind when I look at my group of friends all streaming into new social circles because I know we'll slowly all get busy. Truth to be told, I've agreed to meet a certain friend in 2020 to "catch up about life" but I'm not so sure if I want that anymore - I'll get overwhelmed by the awkwardness really. I've a friend who left for the States 4 years back, one that I've been really close to and even though he promised to keep in touch, he vanished - from social media. When he asked for dinner the last round I went down to Singapore, the whole night all I was thinking was "OMG I can't believe he is back." It just felt so surreal because he didn't contact anyone of us for 3 years+ and now he's back and asking for dinner. It was a great night catching up but I felt like I've changed. I felt that I was less trusting that these friendships will last because of how people promise to keep in touch but end up leaving without a word. While I do believe that true friends are those that you can sit down after ages of not meeting and pick up where you left up, I can't help but to slap myself awake with the fact that as we plunge ourselves into the society, the things we talk about and our thoughts/perceptions in life will change. It feels like my primary school gatherings - where I feel like there's always end up with awkward silences for a while and then we'll start reminiscing the past. Starting a conversation with someone is undoubtedly easy, it's the sustaining part that kills me because I really hate small talk. 
  
  Some may tell me that "it's better to have a handful of close friends than a huge number of acquaintances",  but something I know is that I've a handful of close friends that I miss back down in Singapore :'(
  
  
  
  
  I only have these few photos in my phone but fret not, you (who's reading this) is definitely in the list of people I miss :'( so do drop me a Whatsapp/Facebook message to hit me up! Would love to hear from youuuu and how's uni and how's life and so on
• Parents
  
  Like how Stephie puts it, "you need to learn how to survive with your parents like all of us did". It's true that my parents probably missed out watching us grow up during our teens, now it's as tough I'm a 13yo around them, just with a car I guess? Being around my parents was one of the more challenging things for me because I'm just so used to only having to be responsible for me only and just taking care of myself, now I've curfew(?) and I've to report my whereabouts because they will worry - which is reasonable and I've to help out with chores at home and buying lunch/dinner back and stuff. Dealing with my parents' emotions is the killer because it feels that they often tell me contradicting stuff (which is in some case good, for example when I got to drive fast when they were debating whether I should drive faster or slower than 110km/h.) One thing I haven't gotten used to is how my mum will tell me to study everytime she sees me, which troubles me a little because she gets a little pushy? Another thing is that how we're all so busy so dinner is really late (like 9pm late), and even though we're living in the same house I can end up not seeing my father for one whole week?
  
  One thing that I'm probably most unused to is having to ask for permission to go out HAHAH.
  Slowly working on the parents bit, after all we're all trying to get used to living under one roof, without tearing each other apart.
• Battling myself
  
  For those of you who have known me for a while, I think you get this feeling that I'm fighting myself a lot, especially having conflicting thoughts/being torn in between of decisions most of the time. And throughout this few months of being back, I've been doing a lot of reflection and thinking about life and  sometimes I get so absorbed about the little things in life, I forgot to step out of the picture and see what God has in store of me. 

Yes. For those who are wondering, I can safely say that I am a Christian :) 

It's been a long journey back from my Singapore days with God, but when I can back and when I looked back, I see how I've been trying to keep God out when He just wants me let me know more of goodness and His plans for me. God has blessed me with an amazing close group of friends who are mostly Christian/Catholic, who will have enlightening talks with me about Him and all and ever since accepting Him into my life I feel so much more everyday :) been attending church recently - mainly twice a week because of family issues - but one day I really hope that God provides me with the golden opportunity and the wisdom to tell my family about it, and no drama/fights please. I'm actually worried for Mid Autumn Fest/Death anniversaries now because I feel that I can't pray to them anymore but the explanation is going to be so hard. So I pray that God will help me through times like that. 

Anyways. The other day I coincidentally found out that this teacher of mine who inspired and encouraged me through JC a lot a lot - Mrs Jolin Lim, is from FCBC, just like one of the teachers who first introduced me to Christ, Mrs Marianne Kong :) and Mrs Lim has this beautiful Facebook note that I can't help to agree so I shall quote it below for your reference :) 

My prayer to God in times of trouble

Lord, help me to remember that no matter how dark my situation may become, You are the light of my life and can never be put out. No matter what dark clouds settle on my life, You will lift me above the storm and into the comfort of Your presence. Only You can take whatever loss I experience and fill that empty place with good. Only You can take the burden of my grief and pain and dry my tears.

In times of grief, suffering, or trial, I pray for an added sense of Your presence. I want to grow stronger in these times and not weaker. I want to increase in faith and not be overcome with doubt. I want to have hope in the midst of it and not surrender to hopelessness. I want to stand strong in Your truth and not be swept away by my emotions.

Thank you that You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. Thank you that I walk before You with hope in my heart and life in my body. Thank you that I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. Even when my soul melts from heaviness, I pray that You would strengthen me according to Your word.

Help me to remember to give thanks to You in ALL things, knowing that You reign in the midst of them. Remind me that you have redeemed me and I am Yours and nothing is more important than that. I know when I pass through the waters You will be with me and the river will not overflow me. That’s because You are a good God and have sent your Holy Spirit to comfort and help me. I pray that You, God of Hope, will fill me with all joy and peace and faith, so that I will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you that You have sent Your Holy Spirit to be my Comforter and Helper. Remind me of that, in the midst of difficult times. Amen!

So right now, I remind myself that it's not my will, nor my wants that God grants, but rather what He has in store for me is so much better than what I think is good for me, and better than what I want. So I shall take this as a simple reminder for me to believe that He will provide, so why should I worry?

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

- Matthew 6:34 NIV 

And for most of my overseas readers, (I'm pretty sure you're reading mainly to find out more about this), here's the boyfriend (haha yes I still shrug calling him that kinda) who's been so amazing and caring - he's really godsend ☺️

He's Eugene, by the way ;) 

56 Post As update: December 2013

Haven't been in touch with the social media world, more cooped up in my own world thinking of random things and past experiences. Haven't even wished everyone a happy 2014 ahhaha. Even my instagram/twitter is equally stagnant. Post As (I refer as after A level papers, before uni) so far has been a very eventful one?

After Prom and all the dressing up, I spent December at Steph's hanging around and saying goodbye. I had a great time having dinner with special groups of people such as Soup Restaurant impromptu dinner (Coviegoh you owe us photos for this) and clubbing & table manners for the last time in 2013 (still like how cool clubbing sounds but don't get me wrong, I'm saintly - country clubs are totally fine :D)

Going to TMCC is always coupled with a meal at Table Manners because it's just so damn good (and relatively cheaper than posh restuarants in town). So far there's overwhelming postive reviews (Hungrygowhere rates it 93%, not bad eh? Not bad at all) and I've been telling people staying in the East about it, pretty sure they must be tired of it haha.

Photo from ladyironchef.com, his review is here

(It's a print screen from their Facebook page, don't ask hahaha)

(Top left) Salmon, Mashed Potatoes, Sauteéd Mushrooms
(Top right) Salmon, Truffle Fries, Sauteéd Mushrooms
(Bottom left) Medium rare steak, Truffle Fries, Pomodoro

The buttery mashed potatoes are really soft, melts right in your mouth! Must try! The mushrooms are so fragrant and flavourful I couldn't forget it after my first try here so haha. The meat isn't very very special, probably something that can be prepared at home but it's rich in texture and flavour so I really won't mind dining there again and again. For a meal like that it's probably $16.50. The interior of the place is awesome too - they sell furniture in the mean time, but I guess for me it's more important to take note of the food hahaha . 

Last meal in Singapore with the favourite people down below! Happy family :D

Featuring Beijing Kao Ya we'll get whenever we go clubbing - other than playing pool, futsal and wii! Shin finally stopped screaming like a chicken when playing futsal hahaha. Also, the rest facepalmed when I took a photo of the duck cause everyone stopped for me to take that photo.

Okay other than that I also went for the #ChurpChristmasTour2013! Churpchurp invited a few lucky people to their office and I happen to get chosen :) It wasn't my first time there - I recently won a Taylor Swift Enchanted perfume from the Bobostephanie giveaway so it was my second time at their office (Speaking of this I'm pretty guilty cause uhm, I haven't been active on Churpchurp for quite sometime, guess it's time to go back ahha) 

Here's a photo from the @churp2 instagram cause uhm, I didn't go around taking much photos? It's probably time I should start bringing my camera and stop using my phone. So pardon the grainy images! Maybe my phone is bringing me too much convenience I haven't been using them HAHAH. Anyways, just wanted to say the Humble Beginnings Mille Crepe cake on the second left is awesome! It's even cheaper than Secret Recipe, which standards have dropped to idk what and I would definitely go for this and/or RT pastry! We played a bit of introductory games then went around the few offices.

For those of you who haven't heard of Nuffnang and/or Churpchurp, you locked yourself under a well have got to be kidding me! It's been gaining much attention from almost everywhere in the world and please do yourself a favour and head to http://netccentric.com/! It's definitely a company with an awesome working environment with a lot of consideration for staff welfare - if you've been reading their blogs, Churpies and Nuffies have monthly birthday celebrations/sports days/outings and free movie premieres etc etc. So if you don't want to miss up do sign up here --> http://my.sharings.cc/p/6xLd0. Also a good way to earn some pocket money. HAHA my friends have been hearing all about Nuffnang and Churpchurp and how I want to work for them so much I think they sien diao alr haha. I was planning to join them for an internship but I guess school's starting so maybe I don't have much of that chance anymore ): Nuuuuuuuuuuuu. But nevermind. Can still work there full time next time :D

Anyways if you guys don't really get in touch with such stuff, Nuffnang's co-founder Tim (timothytiah.com, probably more familiar to you guys as Audrey's husband who did the meme proposal - seriously proposals always make me all teary eyed and stuff, I know right, I'm such a typical girl. But do read it here http://fourfeetnine.com/2011/12/11/the-proposal/ I shared the link with Jing and yes she's in love with Audrey and Fighter and you can't help it Audrey is soooooooooooooo funny! Speaking of that it's her birthday today haha coincident?) posted on his blog about the whole Netccentric Christmas competition - Nuffnang and Churpchurp are under a company called Netccentric, and they have other companies like RippleWerkz and Jipaban based in Singapore. Basically each department is given a small token to design their place, and compete to see which department is best designed! And yeah we happen to witness the Christmas decorations just before it was taken down! 

Like you can see, there are Christmas decos everywhere! The guy in the photo on the left is Tim! And on the right there's the Design team's cardboard Christmas tree and rainbow ceiling. Then there's the Tech team's design - talk about geeky look at the third right photo! Made from keyboard letters so tech ahha. I find their idea of making a christmas tree on the ceiling ingenious haha. Even though it wasn't so obvious. 

Later on we headed upstairs, (yes their offices are on two different floors) to the Nuffnang, Churpchurp and admin team. On the bottom right, if you look closer it's like this passport thing (see below) we each get before the trip, and will get stamped as we go to each department. We also have a goodie bag to fill our stuff! We were very very fortunate to get a Churpie each when we reached the Churpchurp department!

Photo from Jacinta, who also blogged about her trip here

I will specially highlight about the Churpchurp department since they won the award! I'll let the pictures do the talking first :)

From the left most photo, we see Amelia, our lovely host holding the Wrecking Ball. Did I mention their theme was Meme? So it was memes everywhere haha. On the wrecking ball you can see Tim and his newly born son Fighter, and the rest of the team haha. The decorations featured were all handmade too! Totally like it was bought from IKEA or somewhere professional right. When we reached the Nuffnang department I was a bit too lazy so hahah check Tim's link http://timothytiah.com/2013/12/16/christmas-decorations-in-the-nuffnang-and-churpchurp-offices-2013/ for all the photos. 

Up till now I really find that I know quite a lot about Nuffnang/Churpchurp and about what's happening since I've been constantly keeping myself in the loop, not that I wanna brag but even Ser Li, the HR executive who interviewed me said so hehe. So I do hope y'all get a peek to why I love this company and want to join them so much :)

In December I also managed to head down to my annoying Fab's for lunch with her family :) I didn't manage to snap photos - yes I'm lazy hahaha - but I had a great time enjoying the simple yet delicious lunch made by her mum (and her yes ok give you credit). I shall feature this awesome cheesecake that is light in texture, but rich in flavour. I must say I love the base cause it's chocolate haha. Will attempt to bake this when I finally move house. CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE.

Anyways coming up next I'll be talking about my travelling filled January. I really need to keep myself motivated to blog haha. Also, I've been thinking about how bloggers normally will have to put their face on social media platforms - something I'm not really keen to do cause I find it shameless. But gah OOTD shots are really fun especially now I'm not doing anything. Then again, I'm a hobo - not much OOTD to take anyway haha. Thanks for reading, see you, bye! :D

Sneak peek for the post :)

37 What can we do now?

Disclaimer: This is a sensitive/emotional post. Read at own discretion. 

Today, 5th of May, is a very important day. It's Malaysian's elections day.

There is no need for me to share Facebook statuses/write posts to tell people about what BN (Barisan Nasional, Malaysia's current ruling party under Najib) is doing as everyone that I know is an opposition supporter. Even my Malay friends.

Whenever I talk about Malaysia's politics, my natural reaction is only angst. My GP tutor, Mr Kenny Tan, has always think that I am exaggerating and my opinions skewed my way of thinking. I honestly don't even know what to think now that today now that BN has just topped themselves once again in playing dirty. My friend told me, Malaysia's politics is actually very interesting to watch - tons of interesting things going on, and I don't think it's something really worth being proud of - the whole world knows how corrupt the government is, and we can't do shit about it.

I first came into contact with a note written by a senior and his friends on Facebook:

Enough is enough. I have had it with the ceaseless corruption, the endless bigotry, the continuous demolishment of our democracy and the persistent prostitution of our great nation by the very people who took oaths to protect it. I want freedom, I want peace, I want progress, but most of all, I want a Malaysia that all Malaysians can be proud of. But I can’t yet vote. So this is a heartfelt plea to everyone who can vote in the coming general election: save our nation.

For too long have we watched helplessly as despots pillaged and plundered Malaysia. For too long have we borne the brunt of their mindless mismanagement. For too long have we cried out in vain against the grave injustices they have done to our country. And for too long have we witnessed the destruction of the most beautiful thing Malaysia has to offer – our people. No more.

A nation is not defined by its economic excess, or its military might, or its global prestige, but by the will, the unity and the spirit of its citizens. Our will has been eroded by decades of brainwashing from the primary school syllabus to the perfidious, poisonous propaganda being propagated by the mainstream media. Our unity has been compromised by the constant fabrication of racial and religious tensions. But our spirit can never be broken. The Malaysia I know is resilient and brave, even if it has lost its way. With the winds of change blowing in our favour, now is the time to stand up and be counted, to seize the opportunity, ride the wave of change to greater heights and precipitate the change we must, for we are, at this very moment on the very precipice of change. There is no better time. This is it.

Elections are about looking forward and not dwelling on past failures. And yet, past performance serves as an indicator for the future outlook. I am grateful for the good things Barisan Nasional has done for this country, few as they are. But gratitude is no reason to vote for them. We are not beholden to them for several decent results. Rather, it is our sacrosanct duty to vote responsibly after considerable deliberation. We don’t owe public officials anything; public officials owe us competence and integrity, nothing less. On this count, BN has failed miserably, while Pakatan has provided cause for optimism. The multitude of crimes against the Malaysian people is what BN has become known for, whereas Pakatan has demonstrated ample state-management capabilities, ushering in an unprecedented period of prosperity and transparency in Penang and Selangor particularly. We have been falling behind as the world has been moving forward for far too long. It’s time to stop the rot, lest we fall any further behind. As Einstein put it, “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again and expecting different results.” It’s a change of times and it’s time for change.

BN has been in power for nearly fifty-six consecutive years – it is the longest ruling "democratically" elected coalition in the world. This should not be taken as evidence that BN is that good, but instead the reverse: BN is that bad. How does a corrupt, racist party stay in power that long? It cheats. A lot. Social contract theorist John Locke purported in his Second Treatise of Government that "the government is not legitimate unless it is carried on with the consent of the governed". As such, the lack of means to verify that previous elections - which are meant to establish the consent of the governed - have been free and fair casts doubt on the legitimacy of the previous administrations. Furthermore, by engendering systemic corruption and being criminally negligent with our education, BN has set us back by at least two generations in terms of economic competitiveness. By propagating electoral fraud, dubiously detaining dissenters and brutalising peaceful rallies, BN has devastated the democratic ideals that this country was founded upon. By controlling the judiciary and the police, BN has infringed upon a right of the citizenry as fundamental as having impartial justice backed by overwhelming force. All for the self-serving purpose of creating a subservient and powerless population so as to perpetuate its plundering ways. A democracy is supposed to empower its citizenry. I really don't care much for the petty backbiting and the political backstabbing, but when we - the average citizens - are being systematically stripped of our prerogatives and our country is going down the drain, it is evident that something is very wrong and that something must be changed.

Never in the history of our country has there been as great a challenger to the tyranny and oppression of Barisan Nasional, than the Pakatan Rakyat coalition of today. Yes, it is not perfect – but who is? Yes, it makes promises it can’t keep – but which political party doesn’t? Chances are, every accusation you can level at five years of Pakatan governance can be directed towards fifty-five years of BN mismanagement, and then some. Yet, Pakatan has demonstrated a greater willingness to listen to the people, a greater dedication to the democratic principles, smaller penchants for bullshit and corruption and a greater inclination towards progressive ideals like equality and meritocracy. At the very least, Pakatan is the lesser of the two evils. At best, it represents a major step towards a more progressive society and a Malaysia of Malaysians, for Malaysians.

Five years ago, we showed BN that it is not invincible, that it had to change. BN replied with five years of not-so-subtle subterfuge, attempting to trick us into thinking that it can change, what with the tit-for-tat replacement of the draconian Internal Security Act with the even more oppressive Security Offences Act and the countless bogus transformation initiatives. How much longer are we going to suffer them? If we allow them to continue dismantling our democracy, diluting the weight of our votes and confiscating our citizen rights for another term, I fear we may never, ever have another good opportunity to depose them. With the Pakatan movement currently gaining traction, this is our best chance yet for a better future. A future where there are no Malays, no Chinese, no Indians, but a brotherhood of Malaysians. A future where the voice of every single Malaysian is heard, be they young or old, able or disabled, rich or poor. A future in which every one of us works for the betterment of our home and of ourselves. A future of peace, of love, of hope. A future that cannot exist with BN in power.

It has been said that “the government you deserve is the government you elect”. But I believe Malaysia deserves so much more. We are a people capable of great compassion and great unity. That’s why I believe Malaysians deserve so much more than tyranny, than corruption, than bigotry, than poverty. That’s why I want change. But I need more than myself this time. So get out and vote because every vote counts. It’s time for change. Yes, we can. Let’s do this. Let’s fucking do this.

Thanks to Jun Lem, Nicholas, Nicole & Ryan

I agreed wholeheartedly, but I couldn't do a thing. I was below 21, and I couldn't vote.

Then after watching "Inside Malaysia's Shadow State" , a video by Global Witness which went viral on the Internet, I wrote this post on 20th March on my Facebook timeline: 

Sometimes it's really disappointing that the Malaysian society is suffering due to corruption/incompetence of the government. There's so much more that could have been done if they were really "Of The People, By The People, For The People".Cover ups don't really work right now, "And he(Najib) has indicated there is more (freebies) to come if BN retains power" isn't really going to win you support for the GE when you didn't even carry out whatever you have promised. Gerrymandering to your own advantage is really just unfair play. Transparency International said Malaysia scored worst in the 2012 Bribe Payers Survey - showing that our government is world champion in corruption. Something that is really hard to achieve, in my humble opinion.

I read this on http://asiapacific.anu.edu.au/newmandala/2011/09/06/corruption-in-malaysia-and-singapore/ (Yes, .au actually means it's a website based in Australia, also meaning that our local issues are so severe that it's bringing attention from different parts of the world.): 

"He has ambitiously stated in his New Economic Model and his Government Transformation Plan that there will be zero tolerance for corruption, in his administration. 

The results to date however does not augur well for Mr. Najib. The perception created thus far is that corruption under the Najib administration is at its peak in Malaysia. The continued abuse of government procurement (http://tonypua.blogspot.sg/2010/05/myprocurement-rent-seeking-patronage.html), the scandal plagued Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) Project (http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/dubious-mrt-awards-will-bloat-project-cost-says-pua), the 1Malaysia e-mail (http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/1-malaysia-email-users-must-sign-up-with-usb-device-nrd-offices/) and Mr. Najib’s use of tax payer’s money for his personal agenda (http://malaysia-chronicle.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=65052%3Acome-clean-on-how-many-millions-of-taxpayers-money-was-spent-to-promote-your-image-nik-nazmi-tells-najib&Itemid=2) are just some of the more high profile examples. And we have yet to even discuss Malaysia’s First Lady’s (no, not the Queen) penchant for fame and all things expensive." (I won't even bother needing proof for the last because you should know she bought a RM 24 mil diamond ring) 

You see, the government is really desperate to win this. The whole fiesta behind the Sulu incident in Sabah (http://borneoherald.blogspot.sg/2013/03/sultan-of-sulu-shocking-revelation.html) which only led to their destroying of evidence (http://www.freemalaysiakini2.com/?p=70660). Why did they even offer ICs in the first place? To get more votes of course. Think about all the freebies they're giving out, it probably is worth it considering they can siphon out the rest of the country's revenue for the next 4 years. 

My GP tutor has been persistent in asking me to use Malaysia examples in my essay and I've always been reluctant to do so. Why? Because there's nothing more than corrupt, political scandals and the ugly human nature that is highlighted by the government. Geography essays I am already writing about the corrupt government has led to the landslides in Bangsar in 2007 (and apparently it's still a crux issue now as the government wants to build another high-rise building there) and I think I could really save myself from all the fury, anguish and desperation from writing essays about how great our government truly is. 

(PS Above is merely my humble opinion regarding Malaysian politics at home, if I happen to offend anyone with the content above, here's my humble apology) 

That moment, I was feeling a sense of fury, a sense of desperation. 

What about now? I'm feeling the same way, just more desperate. 

Since then, the government just decided that they would try to bribe everyone - especially targeting those who live in rural areas who have simply no access to the Internet. They blindly follow all the pro BN propaganda and of course, happily accept the bribery money. PKR did bribe, we bribe with MINERAL WATER. BN? Currently they are willing to pay 3k for one ballot in Penang - just to win over the state that is predominantly Chinese. 

Things they have been doing within a mere 5 years of governance - the infamous murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu (she was BOMBED to pieces for goodness sake, how many normal civilians have access to weaponry?! http://www.smh.com.au/world/dead-detective-had-vowed-to-reveal-truth-on-model-murder-20130317-2g8v8.html), to the deaeth of Teoh Ming Hock, a youth opposition party leader (He was killed, and then thrown down the building, declared that he committed suicide. http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-01-05/malaysian-coroner-rules-open-verdict-in-death-of-opposition-political-aide.html) There were ridiculous jokes that led everyone rolling on the floor laughing, just like Malaysia's very own Obedient Wives' Club. 

Then there was setting up LYNAS waste plant in Malaysia, to store waste beneath the soil they said. They probably never thought of WHY do they even have to transport all those waste here? Why can't they just bury it in Australia? This wasn't even about political divergence, it was about the health of Malaysians. The harmful side effects it would bring to the country. All races came together to oppose it, but did the government care? No. Not even to the cries of their faithful Malay supporters.(http://savemalaysia-stoplynas.blogspot.sg/) 

Then came elections publicity. Taking down opposition flags and replacing it with a sea of blue. And what, using our money to pay to appear on websites? (Trust me, do you think he will fork out his own money? Does he look like that type of person?) They went as far as to invite singers, such as PSY to Penang. (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-02-05/an-malaysia27s-bn-invites-psy-to-nye-party/4500684) Don't bother, that's still not their money. Even if it's THE PARTY'S MONEY I can't help but to ask, are you guys gold diggers? 

And guess what is the most expected thing? Anwar (leader of opposition party) got framed again!! I mean, his sodomy trial lasts like forever, since 5 years ago till now the guy just keeps going in between did he get raped or not. But seriously, I find nothing that attractive of him to get raped so I suggest he should just get on with his life. (http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2013/5/3/nation/13058786&sec=nation & http://my.news.yahoo.com/saiful-s-father-says-sodomy-ii-an-evil-051143401.html) 

I think this was one of the worst things that happened. Out of the blue, police started beating civilians up. Their jobs was to help maintain the harmony in the society, and now they are creating havoc. I understand they might be underpaid, or they had a bad day, but I'm just saying, where is the morals of a human being here? I don't understand why this happened in the first place. People might have different political beliefs, but it really gives you NO RIGHTS to treat someone else with no respect, nor the power to lynch someone. It's barbaric. 

Now that we are one day from the elections, the government even flew in Bangladeshi workers, with temporary permits to vote in favour of them. Seriously, but like what. the. fuck. It's just sad seeing my Facebook timeline being piled by how the party tries to manipulate the system - introducing a freaking ridiculous system and just depriving them a chance to vote? 

I really didn't believe it at first. I thought "Hey, maybe it's photoshopped?" 

I was so wrong, here's a video clip. 

From the Universal Declaration of Human Rights : 

"Article 21. 

(1) Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. 

(2) Everyone has the right of equal access to public service in his country. 

(3) The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures." 

I've come to the point whereby I question, is it too much to ask for a fair elections? Fair and square, lose then suck thumb and go home - weren't we taught that since young? Why are our leaders, who are supposed to build us a promising future, corrupting our economy and ruining our country all together. Was there a need to fly in Bangladesh workers? Is this going to be a repetition of what happened to the Sulu people and Sarawak? 

It's disheartening that Malaysia is seen like THE biggest joke in the world. Everyone is looking at us, yet they can't do anything to help us out of it. Almost all newspapers feature our election process, Singapore's been having "Malaysia Decides" for a whole week already. 

Don't get me wrong - I love my country, where I was born and raised. I grew up with an amazing childhood and I sing Negaraku with pride (even though I can't hit the high notes). It's just that, the country is getting screwed up being in the wrong hands. There needs to be an urgent change! But the issue at hand is, can we? Are we able to create this revolution, no bloodshed, no violence, just a combined effort of the nation. It will just be another http://www.malaysia-chronicle.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=46925:malaysia-cheats-at-elections-former-pm-mahathir-caught-red-handed&Itemid=2

All I can do is just sit here and type this (somewhat emotional) blogpost at 3.34am in the morning (my insomnia is acting up), feeling helpless that I can't vote, and thinking that this is the only possible chance to make a change as BN will never allow opposition to go neck-to-neck with them in the future.

What can I do? 

I'm only left with the choice to pray, to pray for a miracle to happen, to pray for a better future for my homeland - Malaysia.

God Bless Malaysia. 

I don't know if this will work, but if you never try, you'll never know. 

Please help sign this petition to the White House, we're only hoping for the best. 

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/democracy-crisis-malaysia-foreign-workers-were-employed-fraud-voting-malaysian-general-election/nBqKR7bm