66

Leave me astounded, leave me amazed;

This one month has been one hell of a ride, breaking into new comfort zones and getting used to a course with much rigour, but I thank God for your presence in my life for I wouldn't have had loved what I've been doing for the past one month. 

Tonight is a night I'm especially thankful for you - after a night of cell (a first!!) that left me with only warm, fuzzy feelings albeit worshipping with a group of nearly strangers. Thankful for you leading me closer to God,  thankful for you always being there for me. Thankful for everything you've done for me :') 

My experience with God has only been reaching to greater heights, and I'm actually looking forward to where it brings me to. Even though I am not sure how long is this meant to last, I just hope you remember how you've impacted me - in so many different ways possible.

Love you brah ;) x 

65 Do you guys still post your birthday on Facebook?

I've been educated that y'know Facebook definitely has more harm than good so y'know don't make yourself so vulnerable especially when people always start guessing using your birthday. But on the other hand I must admit that everyone's too busy to remember your birthday so hey there's Facebook conveniently there!

I feel very bad when I drift off with some of my friends.. But I still make an effort to rmb their birthday or special dates.

But like @yuhhui was saying, you can't expect people to reciprocate all the time. Most of the time it's really that there's one more party that's putting in more into the relationship.

And it's not common that friends come to me telling me how tired/upset they are when they have to continuously take the initiative to go talk to this friend when the latter probably flew away and have different social lives..

Anw I'm drifting away to a larger area of friends (which was my main purpose anyway hahaha), but like I guess it's true.

Can't help to think if this will be how most of my friendships would end? My mummy told me her friends now are mainly from work/clients so the friends I make don't really matter.

Which I'm really sad cause y'know I like to keep in contact with people (even though sometimes I PMS and don't reply cause I run away/just angst and don't wanna accidentally let it out on someone so shutting myself away is a good option) but I know this is somewhat going to be true..

So the end of the day, isit worth letting people know it's your birthday so you actually give them a chance to wish you happy birthday and catch up from there?

Would it actually be meaningful or are you just screaming for attention?

64 Love you Mummy;

I love it when I sit in the passenger seat after getting picked up by my mummy. That seemed to be one of the very few moments that I get all your attention.. Provided that you're not on the phone. It seems eons ago the cute lil me in pigtails waited for you by the school gate after school. 

Sitting in a restaurant at 10:30pm having dinner right now, with you on the phone - I miss being able to talk to you in the car already. Even though you apologize for not being able to spare more time cause of work, I know you're busy just for my sake. 

In fact you've always been pretty busy - work demands so much more from you. It's always something happening in Malacca or Kluang that makes you so frustrated.. That's why you come home really late and we have dinner even later. Sometimes I don't understand why.. Sometimes I yearn for my mummy too.. 

It's times like this that I need to be reminded how great a mum you've always been - a supermom in everyone's eyes. One that will get out of office just to pick us up, one that will call my siblings awake cause they just can't, one that storms 3 hours down to sg just because I was downright depressed. In my eyes, you're the best mum anyone could've had and I'm really really glad you're my mum. 

63 With a heavy heart

Today's my last night in Singapore. The final night, after spending 6.25 (up till March 2014) here on the red dot.

I expected myself to be emotional - I was never really good at saying goodbyes, but never really saw how hard it is to say goodbye. 

This 6.25 years have been vital in shaping who I am today, and I'm sure everyone can see how I've transformed from that naive, obnoxious 13 year old to this crazy, shameless 19 year old. (Not sure if that's how people see me tho) 

You see, my relationship with Singapore goes a long way back. I've been travelling to and fro Singapore since I was 8. Mummy would strap me next to her and together we will ride the highway to visit my older siblings, and then take another 3 hours to cruise home.  

I remember stepping into Nanyang during my sister's graduation, and it felt that I was meant to belong there. And from then on, I worked so hard to achieve that aim of coming to Singapore to study. I guess that worked out pretty well. 

But along the way, I started to understand myself a bit more. I grew to understand that sometimes people just won't like you - no matter how hard I try. I learnt that results weren't proportional to effort. I struggled through certain experiences, like going for FAME rehearsals/JCRC meetings till 3am and still having to come back to complete my homework - they weren't going to complete themselves yet looked back with such fond memories. 

Then I moved up to JC, where it was just a mini society and shit really goes up the roof. It was a challenge to be true to myself, to handle different commitments and to handle different people. I've lost myself, I've climbed back up. I've been disappointed, but I learnt to move on. 

Last 0.25: mostly working with Steph, meeting more new friends - co-facilitators and the kids we've brought overseas. Learning through tough environments, yet enjoying the whole experience. It doesn't make it any easier that prior to leaving this island I gained a bunch of new friends from the MF team, who reminded me of why I ever come to this island in the first place. 

This 6.25 years have been really really tough on me. I went down, down, and further down when I just couldn't manage my expectations of myself. I didn't understand why. I even looked down upon myself. I started questioning the whole purpose of coming here, especially how my university questioned the legitimacy of my A levels results - because it's not Cambridge IGCSE. 

But it's really though the toughest times, you grow the most. I feel that my experiences here made me a so much better person - still much to improve but hey baby steps. Challenges were thrown at me time after time, each time harder than the previous, but I learnt. And I guess that's what matters. That I learnt, to work my way around it. I learnt that life isn't fair. I learnt that life will give you lemons, so just suck it up. 

But what makes it most unbearable to say goodbye, is the friends I've made here. The friends who laughed with me when I was happy, gave me a pull when I was sinking; the friends who never failed to surround me with warmth and care, the friends who complained together with me during the tough times. The friends who helped me to grow. 

I've also gotten so used to staying at Steph's, I feel so much like an adopted child in the family. Joking around during dinner, helping to wash up and shedding hair (teehee) will be things that I will miss when I go home. 

My entire social life, my presence in this society, would be uprooted from this red dot after today. Everyone will enter a new phase in life, some will come and some will go. I really don't know what will happen from here onwards, but I am really thankful, that I was here. 

Veni, Vidi, Vici. I saw, I came, I conquered. I conquered my old self. I really don't want to leave my comfort zone, but a new path awaits. Now I understand why so many people stayed. 

But for now, goodbye. 

/hurries to get ice cream to soothe self

61 Facepalm moments: Boarding School Edition

Just because we're no longer in Hwach and I haven't been around my hilarious boarding mates for a while, here's a facepalm moments post dedicated just to them - only managed to record this few when I have to mood heh. It's very funny/blood-puking talking to them most of the time, but it's great to have them around! After all, I've grown up with them :)) 

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/The one regarding the Samsung Note III
Jane: Why don't buy Note III?
Shin: I also don't know, I only know my home got a lot of notepad one
Jane: Yerrrrr I also got la!!!
I know, I know typical me. Good thing she didn't whack me

Mayxin: I don't like these clips (hair clips).. they stick out of your head..
She claims these only happens when she's bored - we disagree. She makes such comments almost every other day

Mayxin: 我记得One Day (the show) 哪里最好笑
Joyce/Xinhui: 一定不好笑的
*Everyone laughs*
Mayxin: 想想一下，真的不是那么好笑
Typical mayxin. Typical.

My mum to Mayxin when driving us down:

Ma: 哦是你啊呀，我还以为是哪一个泰国明星 (oh it's you, thought it's what Thailand star)
trolololol my mum meant 韩国名星 aka Korean star.. but she said wrongly.. HAHAH I think it's quite funny cause of the different implications? Korean is implying chio but Thailand implaying more of sex-change/tranny? No offense haha Thailand also got a lot of chio stars

Ma: 你几时长这么高 (Since when did you grow so tall?)

My mum is quite good at compli-sults don't you think?

Boarding was spraying the mozzie thing.
Joyce: OMG 像云顶 (like Genting)
Mayxin: 闻起来想我婆婆家 (smells like my Grandma's)
Joyce: 你婆婆家aedes farm ah (Your Grandma's is aedes farm?)

We were talking about most people in Korea undergo cosmetic surgery I think??

Mayxin: 你要我整容啊 (You want me to undergo cosmetic surgery ah?)
Joyce: 你不要啊…等下你生 baby过后人家sue 你啊
(Don't want, later when you give birth other people sue me)

With reference to this photo from a Korean ad, of how beautiful parents have
normal looking children cause of cosmetic surgery

/Joyce trying to troll Mayxin but failed

Joyce: you know moonlight is a reflection of a sunlight right, why vampires won't die at night
Mayxin: er maybe cause it's (moonlight) not intense enough what
Joyce: how can you come up with such logical answers?? Can't you be more normal and say like it's some UV or something

Mayxin on reading my geog A level question paper
Mayxin: what precipitation during tropical climate? 我只可以想到人家口吐白沫 (I can only think about people foaming)

All because precipitate in chem = forming of white solid

On the car with Mayxin and Joyce after gathering, talking about undang (The Malaysian Driving Theory Test, also called KPPJ)
Joyce: Aiya common sense one la. You look at the sign there you tell me what isit saying?

Referring to this sign, which means people are crossing, so look out

Mayxin: errrrrrrrrr... you're allowed to dance?
needless to say, we facepalmed. Actually, we came to consensus that she'll probably fail undang HAHAHA.

Joyce also said that Mayxin thinks that this sign....... 

Is actually telling us to break dance. If Xinhui was reading this, she would clap. HAHA.

62 Facepalm moments: 62 edition

Haven't been around 62 for a really long time but here are some gems from when we were still schooling! 

All the best for y'all who are receiving A level results this Monday!! Let me share this timely verse with you:

"God, thank you for the closed doors. Thank you for not allowing me to settle for second best. 

God, every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, you were re-directing me to something better. 

God, I pray you will give me peace when frustration creeps in. I pray you will give me strength to press on when I'm told, 'no.' 

God, I thank you for teaching me that 'no' is just a step to a bigger and better, 'YES.' 

Amen." 

Okay now for the epic parts. 

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Someone in class was telling me this joke the other day:

Q: What does Jack and Mr. Bean both do? (like what are their jobs)

A: They are stalkers. Cause Jack and the Beanstalk.

/wtfwtfwtf.

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Econs question stated something like "there are no rooms for discussion". Bao and I was supposed to discuss about it and write an essay outline.

KC: This kind of question confirm it's no room la!

Me: Singapore got a lot leh!! Got... hotel rooms! 8D

Another similar conversation goes like..

KC: Singapore got what seasons ah? Like a bit no season right!

Me: Got Four Seasons (the hotel) 

Normally KC will go "like you ah.." then he shake his head. I'm the kind of people that is considered with hopeless lameness hehehe.

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QTK: What does the Blue white and red in the France flag represent?

Vic: ITALYYYY!

#blonde

Btw, this is taken from Wikipedia:

" The three colours are occasionally taken to represent the three elements of the revolutionary motto, liberté (freedom: blue), égalité (equality: white), fraternité (brotherhood: red)"

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QTK: Which country used to be w Pakistan and starts w a B?

Vic: BRITAIN

QTK: No a nearer country one that recently appeared in the news* 

Vic: SINGAPOREEE

correct answer is Bangladesh btw. *News referred here was the one about the textile factory collapsing due to lousy infrastructural management & pressure from the MNC/local government to work even in harsh conditions. 

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My class has a few guys shorter than average, so there's a lot of comic relief regarding height that goes on. So this was what happened one day...

Someone:(most probably Wanlin LOLOLOL) You got chance of growing taller?

Xinyi: What's your problem?! Ask god la! 

He was totally like F.M.L Not like I can do anything about it /flipstable. But I still find it funny ahaha

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Yinnshan: I feel so small in this great vast world. Next to a meteor I'm just a speck of dust. WHAT ARE HUMANS. WHY DO WE EXIST!??

Shichun: To give birth to two soccer teams

/handsdownthewinner /epic

Shichun has always joked of having loads and loads of children. Two football teams to be exact AHAHHA. 

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Discussion during Chem class cause it's just so boring

Joyee: Shin, You hve so much white hair! You should be less stressed!

Me: I'm sure if I quit school I'll be less stressed..

Joyee: lets ask Wanlin if she has white hair!

Wanlin: nope (she was listening to us whilst trying to look attentive)

Joyee: that's good it means you're not stressed 

Wanlin: -but I'm balding 

HAHHA Joyee went what the shitt! ah chem lessons are so fun with these two

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Weimin: OMG is that Jackie Chan?? 

Well, clearly not hahahah. 

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During career setting, we were supposed to say our ambitions and what are we gonna do to achieve them (supposed to make us motivated to study harder, but as usual, 62 uses it as a trolling session) 

Some dude: I wanna be batman!!

Jiajing: but that one need wear underwear outside..

Mr Tan: .. That's superman

#epicfail

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Econs lesson with MToh:

MToh: you guys go to which bank? OCBC? DBS? 

Yinnshan: UOB

KC: OCBC

Wayne: piggy bank!

 #actcutewaynestrikesagain

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Shichun: If I do a lot of chem I also chemwhore

#wisewords #punny

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The usual geog lesson.

Gomez: teacher teacher I got question to ask!! 

Mrs Chua: you call me teacher I call you boy, ok? Yes, boy? 

This one also happened to fall on parents day. 

Gomez: Mrs Chua, I think you v pretty today!! 

Mrs Chua: Are your parents seeing me today?!

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Think this was during the CT session for racial harmony day 

Mr Tan: How do you prevent racial riots?

KC: Firstly... We have racial harmony day. We don't celebrate but we acknowledge the day la, theres like EMB message 

Shichun: And we eat Indian food! 

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God I miss this bunch of people ;-;

59 Dear God,

I don't know how to address you, but I do believe in a person up there, so hey!

Tonight has been a pretty eventful day. So many times my house has been broken into, I'm finally here to take part in one TROLOLOL.

When we first got the notification, we were really scared and worried. What would have happened if they took my passport? My laptop which had all the random information? All the things my parents treasured..?

The whole trip from Malacca was thrilling. So many suspicions - the maid who knew where everything was, random workers who were always around and the list goes on. 160km/h (it's been long since my mummy drove this fast) and phone calls that came in non-stop, plus a traffic jam, I'm thankful that God you have me numerous topics to talk to my mummy about as distraction. From the Nissan Amerah I've never seen, to the random guy intern who just came to work, and guessing how they broke in. It made the trip less stressed up, and my mummy less worried. 

When we came home and found out the valuables weren't missing, it was really a sigh of relief. The robbers were weird - nope they didn't take my DSLR, didn't take my passport or my longchamp. Weirdest thing was, the robbers took 4 old laopok laptops, when they left my (newest) Dell untouched. Ironically, the Dell was placed in such an obvious location, and yet they didn't touch it. They took Angpaos though, which was really desperate attempt, because they threw the whole house around. So much packing to be done because those idiots threw out everything packed into boxes -_-

At first I was really really mad. I was mad at the robbers, for bringing so much worries and stress. I was mad at you God, for not sparing us from this disaster. I was really upset because I didn't know why would you do this to me and my family. 

But after I calmed down and though about it, God, you really love me. If you hadn't let my mum bring me along to malacca, I would have been at home. You told me that through the police, the neighbour, and my ever thankful parents. Worst case scenario, I would have been kidnapped. And I know that being the most adorable daughter in the family, nothing would have made my parents more tensed and stressed up than that. Thank you God, for helping me advert this disaster. 

Also, God, I guess why they did not take what was most important to us, was because you sent your angels to help us guard it. I cannot find any other reason why my laptop was ignored, if you had not helped me shield it. My passport, very crucial for me to travel down to sg this weekend, remain untouched too. If it wasn't for your love to protect what was important to me, I cannot imagine any worse.

I'm still curious though, God, why would you help me avoid disasters but not make it happen? Mummy says some things you can't avoid, it's what we call 命结 in Chinese but I've no idea what's it called in English. Basically it's some difficulties in life that God has arranged for us. 

After this tiring ordeal, I just wanna say sorry God, for lashing out my anger at you. I know it's nothing you could have done, and you definitely did your best to protect me. So thank you God (: 

I'm tired, but definitely blessed.